Back-to-School Anxiety: How to Help Your Child or Teen Adjust

The start of a new school year can bring excitement, new opportunities, and a fresh routine. But for many children and teens, going back to school can also bring stress and anxiety. 

For families navigating back-to-school anxiety, understanding what may be causing a child’s worries can make the transition feel more manageable.

The American Psychological Association notes that uncertainty about new classmates, teachers, and challenging classes can be especially stressful for children at the beginning of a school year. 

Some nervousness during a transition is normal. But when back-to-school anxiety becomes intense, lasts for an extended period, or begins interfering with school attendance, sleep, relationships, or daily life, additional support may be helpful. 

Here are several ways parents and caregivers can support children and teens experiencing back-to-school anxiety as they adjust to the school year. 

Recognize What Back-to-School Anxiety Can Look Like 

Children and teens do not always say, “I’m anxious about school.” 

Instead, back-to-school anxiety may sometimes show up through physical complaints, changes in behavior, irritability, sleep difficulties, frequent reassurance-seeking, or avoidance. 

You may notice your child or teen: 

• Complaining of stomachaches or headaches before school 

• Having difficulty falling asleep or waking up 

• Becoming more irritable or emotional 

• Frequently asking to stay home from school 

• Worrying excessively about grades, assignments, or making mistakes 

• Avoiding conversations about school 

• Withdrawing from friends or activities 

• Becoming extremely nervous about social situations 

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry notes that school-related anxiety and school refusal may sometimes include physical complaints such as headaches or sore throat, stomachaches, particularly around the time a child is expected to attend school. 

These signs do not necessarily mean that a child has an anxiety disorder. They can have many possible causes. A qualified mental health professional can help determine what may be contributing when symptoms are persistent or disruptive. 

Create Predictable Routines 

After a more relaxed summer schedule, returning to early mornings, homework, activities, and structured evenings can be a significant adjustment. 

Predictable routines may make the transition feel more manageable. 

Consider creating consistency around: 

• Bedtimes and wake-up times 

• Morning routines 

• Homework or study time 

• Meals 

• Screen time 

• Preparing backpacks, clothing, and lunches the night before 

The APA recommends gradually returning children to their school-year routine and preparing school materials in advance to make the transition smoother. 

For younger children, a visual morning or bedtime checklist can help. Older children and teens may benefit from helping create their own schedules so they have some ownership over their routines. 

The goal is not to control every part of the day. It is to reduce unnecessary stress and uncertainty. 

Listen, Validate, and Stay Curious 

When children tell us they are worried, a natural response is to reassure them: 

“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” 

Although the intention is comforting, it may be more helpful to first acknowledge what they are feeling. 

For example: 

“It makes sense that you’re nervous about starting at a new school. New situations can feel uncomfortable.” 

Then communicate confidence in their ability to manage the situation: 

“You don’t have to feel completely comfortable on the first day. We can figure out what might make it easier.” 

Try asking specific questions instead of only asking, “How was school?” 

You might ask: 

• What was the best part of your day? 

• What felt difficult today? 

• Who did you spend time with? 

• Is there anything you are worried about tomorrow? 

• What would make tomorrow feel a little easier? 

You do not have to solve every concern immediately. Sometimes listening and helping your child put their feelings into words is an important first step. 

Help Your Child Face Worries in Manageable Steps 

Anxiety can make situations feel bigger and more threatening than they are. 

A child who is worried about friendships may think, “What if nobody talks to me?” 

A teen who struggles academically may jump from one difficult assignment to, “I’m going to fail the entire class.” 

Help your child move from the big worry toward a smaller, more manageable next step. 

For example: 

• Identify one person they could sit with at lunch. 

• Help them email a teacher if they are confused about an assignment. 

• Break a large project into several smaller tasks. 

• Practice walking into a new classroom or school before the first day. 

• Identify a trusted teacher, counselor, or staff member they can approach if they feel overwhelmed. 

Although staying home from school may provide short-term relief from anxiety, repeated avoidance can sometimes make returning feel more difficult. The APA encourages parents to support children in facing fears rather than reinforcing avoidance, while the AACAP recommends professional support when school refusal becomes persistent. 

This does not mean forcing a child through severe distress without support. If school attendance is becoming a significant struggle, parents may benefit from working with the school and a mental health professional to develop an appropriate plan. 

Know When Additional Support May Be Helpful 

Many children become more comfortable once they settle into their new routine. For others, anxiety may continue or become more disruptive. 

Consider speaking with a mental health professional if your child or teen: 

• Frequently refuses or struggles to attend school 

• Experiences intense fear or panic related to school 

• Has ongoing sleep problems because of school worries 

• Withdraws significantly from friends or activities 

• Experiences frequent physical symptoms related to anxiety 

• Seems overwhelmed by academic or social expectations 

• Has symptoms that interfere with daily life at home, school, or with friends 

The National Institute of Mental Health recommends seeking professional guidance when emotional or behavioral concerns last for weeks or months or begin interfering with a child’s functioning at home, at school, or socially. 

Helping Your Child Adjust Takes Time 

Adjusting to a new school year does not happen at the same pace for every child. 

Some children settle in quickly. Others may need more time, reassurance, structure, and support. 

Parents can help by creating predictable routines, listening without immediately trying to fix the problem, helping children take manageable steps toward their worries, and paying attention when anxiety begins interfering with everyday life. 

f your child or teen is struggling with school anxiety, academic stress, friendships, or another emotional challenge, therapy may help them develop coping skills, strengthen emotional regulation, and feel more confident navigating stressful situations. 

The Halliday Center for Psychotherapy & Wellness provides therapy for children, adolescents, adults, and families in San Diego, as well as telehealth services throughout California. 

Contact The Halliday Center to learn more about therapy options or schedule a consultation. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Back-to-School Anxiety 

Is back-to-school anxiety normal?
Some nervousness at the beginning of a new school year is common, especially as kids adapt to new teachers, classmates, or expectations. It’s worth checking in with a professional if the worry sticks around for weeks or starts getting in the way of school, sleep, or friendships. 

How long does back-to-school anxiety usually last?
There is no single timeline. Some children adjust within a few days, while others may need several weeks. What matters most is whether the anxiety gradually improves or continues to interfere with your child’s ability to function at school, at home, or socially. 

What should I do if my child says they do not want to go to school?
Start by trying to understand what is making school feel difficult. Your child may be worried about academics, friendships, bullying, separation, a particular class, or something else entirely. Listen without immediately dismissing the concern. If school avoidance becomes frequent or severe, consider involving the school and a mental health professional. 

Can anxiety cause stomachaches or headaches before school?
Anxiety can sometimes be associated with physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, nausea, or feeling unwell, particularly during stressful situations. However, physical symptoms can have many causes, so ongoing or concerning symptoms should also be discussed with your child’s healthcare provider. 

When should I consider therapy for my child’s school anxiety?
Therapy may be helpful when anxiety is persistent, worsening, or interfering with school attendance, sleep, relationships, activities, or everyday functioning. A therapist can help your child better understand their anxiety and develop coping and problem-solving skills, while also helping parents learn ways to provide support at home.